Thursday, June 26, 2014
We've landed! Here's our first family selfie in Germany!
I'm going to be honest...I'm overwhelmed! Holy Moly, life is changing at a rapid pace. A totally expected pace, but that doesn't mean it's any less stressful or overwhelming. I'm in another country!! I live in Germany. That's the new normal. Geez Lousie!
Last night all I could think was "Man, we've all had shoes on for like 23 hours! This place reeks!" and "Is it bedtime now?" Today all I can think is "I gotta make a new list...lots of lists!!"
Calvin walked outside on the balcony this morning and said, "Woah! It's cold out here. Feel this mommy!" That led to a conversation with Jack about there being a lot of newness to get used to and he said, "Like Indee had to get used to living with the cousins?" His mind helps simplify things for me so much.
We had to leave our sweet friend Indee behind in the states to live with my brother and his family. The first few days she was there she went a bit overboard. She reclaimed her love of squirrel chasing. It's been a while since she's had a huge yard of grass to run in and trees full of squirrels! Oh, the joy!! (the closest things we had to squirrels in Las Vegas were pigeons.) She ran and jumped and explored and sniffed and barked and tried to keep up with my brother's Jack Russels. She staked her claim and had a blast. And then...well, let's just say she overdid it just a bit. I got a call from my brother just about a week after dropping her off telling me that she was in a bad way.
She was breathing very roughly and couldn't even stand up to eat. Those that know Indee, know that to not be able to eat is a BIG deal. She is generally about 10% please my humans driven and 90% food driven. Just ask anyone who has ever brought a tray of brownies to our house and walked in before she has been crated, or been to a cookout at our place and seen her stalk the grill.
For hours she just lay on the floor breathing harshly and could only stand with help and only walk in a hobbley, feeble way. We thought she may not make it. I took Jack over to say goodbye just in case and sat with her for a few hours. On the drive home, in his 6 year old prophet like wisdom he told me that she was going to be fine tomorrow. She was slower, but mostly he was right and by the day after that she was back to her old self. And by old, I also mean she remembered that she was in fact, old. She'll still chase those hairy little varmints, but I think from now on she'll take it at an 11 year old doggy pace and not a 5 year old puppy pace.
So, today I'll take advantage of Indee's lesson and get used to living in this new backyard at a decent pace. There is no need to move at a breakneck speed, no point in chasing too many squirrels at once. It'll all get done! And we will be happier without a frazzled mom as we get it accomplished.
And honestly as much of me that's ready to explore this new land and trudge out on an adventure, there's another part of me that is perfectly content with this lovely TLF apartment and that would love to stay inside, nice and cozy and let's face it...hide. Balance is also going to be key.
So far, things seem super nice and inviting. The weather is lovely. Everything smells fresh and clean. I woke up this morning to open windows and the sounds of birds and kiddos playing outside and as much as I want to get out there and join it all, I had forgotten what it feels like to be taken to somewhere so unknown and starkly different from where you've come, only to watch your husband put on a uniform and leave you sitting there alone and unsure in Temporary Lodging right away. It's nerve racking! This time, without even a way to call him.
I know though, that as odd as I must feel right now, asking myself "what now?" He has to feel that much more strange and overwhelmed. The weight of the newness is on his shoulders so much more than mine; he's uprooted his family, is in a strange place, making first impressions, his career is taking a turn. As a wife, right now, part of my job is to take as much of that load as possible. To help him breath normally and not be too tired to eat like our poor pup when he gets 'home.'
So here's what... I'm getting dressed today! The boys and I will strike out at least a little without daddy and find something new to do, or something familiar. We'll figure out how something works, we'll follow a map, we'll meet someone new. And a small bit of pressure will be lifted and tomorrow I'll conquer something bigger.
In Matthew 6:25-34 Jesus said,
My ultimate goal is to seek His Kingdom first, in the midst of a land of castles and beauty. I seek his beauty. And I won't chase too many squirrels too fast. Prayers and gentle reminders are accepted!