Their Father's Eyes

I used to sing a song with my Mom called Father's Eyes by Amy Grant. Since Jack was little I've sung the chorus to that song to him, and now to Cal, while praying it's words over them.

He's got his Father's eyes, his father's eyes...

Eyes that find the good in things

When good is not around

Eyes that find a source of help

When help cannot be found

Eyes full compassion

Seeing every pain

Knowing what you're going through

And feeling it the same.

Just like his Father's eyes

Tonight Jack asked me to rock him in Calvin's room. Calvin was already asleep so I said we had to be super quite. We snuck in and he curled up and I sang quietly and prayed for my boys while he fell asleep in my arms. He doesn't do that much anymore! It was such a blessed moment in that quite room with my two sleeping babies.

It was nice to know Aaron was in the other room listening. It won't be too long before his presence will be missing in this scenario. I know a few things to be sure right now in a time in my life when uncertainty seems to be looming in the shadow of Aaron's upcoming deployment.

1. I am blessed beyond measure with two strong, smart boys that are more resilient than I can fully imagine.

2. I have a husband who has his Father's eyes and has passed them on to his boys! I see him in their eyes every day.

3. God has given me peace that we will overcome this year.

If you Give a Mom a Cup of Coffee...

Upon reading to Jackson today, I realized that my life is much like the beloved children's book "If you Give a Pig a Pancake."

If you give a Mom a cup of coffee, she'll feel the urge to sit down and enjoy it while gazing out the window.

When she looks out the widow she'll see the

fish tank and notice how dirty it is.

When she goes to wash the tank, she'll not be able to because the sink is full of dirty dishes. So, she'll decide to load the dishwasher.

As she opens the dishwasher she'll realize that it's full of clean dishes and she'll need to unload it.

While unloading the dishwasher she'll see the cutting board and remember that she needs to prep dinner.

She'll get out the cutting board and chop up the veggies for dinner and reach for a cup towel, only to find that the cup towel drawer is empty.

When she goes to the laundry room to start a load of laundry and wash the towels she'll be reminded of how dirty the baby's highchair cover is and go to take it off and add it to the load.

While taking of the cover she'll notice how dirty the baby got while eating lunch.

She'll give the baby a bath and in the process become soaked.

When she goes to change her clothes she'll check her pockets and find her lost grocery list and realize that she forgot to buy milk at the store.

After loading the kids in the car and driving to the store she'll return home and go to put the milk away and see the coffee creamer in the fridge.

And if she sees the coffee creamer it's likely that she'll...

... remember that her full cup of coffee is still sitting by the window from earlier!!

See, you thought I was going to say 'pour herself a cup of coffee and sit down to look out the window', didn't you? But you'd be WRONG! She learned her lesson from earlier... never sit down!! You'll remember that you need to clean the stinkin' fish tank!!

Half Crazed, PJ Wearing, Spit Up Covered, Mother of Boys

I think I pretty much just had the longest hour and a half in my life… You would think with time all stretched out like that I’d have been able to accomplish more, but instead I’ve been able to clean spilled oatmeal out of the microwave, brush my hair, put it in a ponytail, put on a bra… I have not been able to get out of my pjs, however. I’ve also been followed around by a screaming baby and made Jack two breakfasts. I’m sure a third is in our near future. This kid eats like a horse in the mornings.

It was one of those ‘put the baby in the crib and let him yell a while before you throw him across the room’ mornings… after half a cup of coffee and loading the dishwasher (giving me a small sense of accomplishment) I was able to go back in a remind us both that I love him more than life itself, but it took some work getting there this morning. I even sang “It’s Amazing What Praising Can Do” this morning in an attempt to lift my mood. BUT the only song that came to mind, despite what the song says about Jesus filling your heart with a song, was a song my dad used to sing to us as kids… It’s called “Egg Sucking Dog” and this is what I hummed to Calvin before I put him in his crib to scream! Not feeling like the best mom this morning.

I was half thrilled when Aaron came home from his 5k race on base at 8:00… half because he got to get out of the house and I was admittedly jealous, but thrilled because a little relief was in sight, which allowed me to sit down and write this. I can’t imagine mornings like this when he’s gone for 6 mos. It’s coming down the pike and I’m nervous. Praying for lots of grace!

Some days are harder than others, but I do believe that God’s grace is sufficient for even me… a half crazed, pj wearing, spit up covered, mother of boys.

I Asked For This?!?!

Yes, I did!! I asked for this. I longed for this. In fact, for so long I begged for this!

Sleepless nights, trips to the pediatrician and ER, Nick Jr and Sprout and the Disney Channel out the wazoo, lack of showers, dark circles under my eyes, spit up, snot smears on my shoulder... and thigh, scrapped knees, tantrums, a pantry full of cheese crackers, Cheetos stains on my furniture, quadruple the laundry...

Well I may not have put it in these exact words when I was on my knees pleading with God for the child we thought we may never have, but all these things are part of the package. And today I choose to praise God for them. Because without them I wouldn't have...

... giggles, little feet to kiss, funny Jackisms to share with those I love, the best photo subjects in the world, someone that looks like me and Aaron, sincere "I love yous" from little hearts, someone to tell they are special every single day, the chance to watch an imagination grow up close, hands to hold, the greatest two accomplishments of my life time.