Blue In The "Mouth" ??? - A Jackson Tale...

Jackson... ran to me this morning gagging on his breakfast. Terrified I began to have him spit out what was in his mouth and hit him on the back. Then I looked at his face and his lips and chin were BLUE! Freaking out... once he got up the way big too bite in his mouth I said, "Are you ok?"... "Yes Mommy."... "Did you color your face?"... "No Mommy." I took a deep breath and he ran out of the room care free... then casually turned to me and matter of factly said. "I colored my tongue!" Then trotted off...

Not a good combo!! Let's not color our tongues blue with marker and then stuff our mouths with too much food and run to Mommy because we don't know where to spit it! The marker wiped right off. He's fine.

Wonder

'Wonder is that possession of the mind that enchants the emotions while never surrendering reason. It is the grasp on reality that does not need constant high points in order to be maintained, nor is it made vulnerable by the low points of life's struggle. It see's in the ordinary the extraordinary, and it finds in the extraordinary the reaffirmations for what it already knows. Wonder clasps the soul (the spiritual) and is felt in the body (the material). Wonder interprets life through the eyes of eternity while enjoying the moment, but never lets the momentary vision exhaust the eternal. Wonder makes life's enchantments real and knows when and where enchantment must lie. Wonder knows that while you cannot look at the light you cannot look at anything else without it. It is not exhausted by childhood but finds it key there. It is a journey like a walk through the woods, over the usual obstacles and around the common distractions, while the voice of direction leads saying, "This is the way, walk ye in it" (Isaiah 30:21 kjv). It is not at all surprising that if the seventy usages of the word wonder in the Old Testament, nearly half of them are by David, the sweet singer of Israel. Wonder and music go hand in hand. Wonder cannot help but sing. Even nature recognizes that.' - Ravi Zacharias, Recapturing the Wonder

I woke up early this morning... before Jackson. Most days this would be an extraordinary feat of brilliance and insight. A chance to face the world with a cup of coffee and no two year old asking to "watch a mooonie?" (aka "a movie"). However, lately sleep has been a precious commodity. Be it the uncomfortable stretching of pregnancy ligaments, the absence of a partner in my bed, the stress of moving to a new and somewhat scary (because of the unknown) stage of life, my sleep patterns have been amiss. I try to enjoy every ounce of it I can manage to scrounge up.

This morning I was frustrated by my mind that would not shut off once it turned on at 5:45. 'Calls and conversations that must be made today playing out in my head, to do lists growing, timelines looming, undesired chores suspended in the air... I got up... fed the dog... heard the birds and felt the wind, and everything vanished.

With a cup of coffee I sat down with a book that I bought to send to Aaron, but started reading instead... providence I now see. When Aaron and I were in college and working with the youth in Claude, TX we would drive and hour and a half every Sunday morning for church and listen to Ravi Zacharias teach in his wisdom on the radio... he made those early mornings bearable as well. Pushing to fully understand his words through his accent likely kept two young college students awake on mornings that likely followed late Saturday nights and his words themselves engaged our minds and pushed us on to contemplate ideas like the one that he wrote about above. He's been a favorite author and speaker since for us both.

It's been a long time since I read a book that makes me think. That's what Ravi does. I figured with brain juices starting to be sucked up by the baby, the more I can muster the desire to push those brain cells to function the better. With Jackson, Aaron used to bring me home crossword puzzles to help my baby brain function more to pace. Ravi has done a good job keeping me thinking this time so far. We'll have to pull out a few more of his writings when this one is completed.

When Aaron flew off to Alabama for COT the first morning without him if I recall started similar, but instead of a book in hand I just sat on the back porch and listened. I kept humming a song that I was surprised that I knew the words too. It's amazing how songs are ingrained in my head. I give a lot of credit to my parents and grandparents for this. It's hard to remember times from my childhood that someone wasn't singing. Whether it be crazy made up songs that kept me laughing, or soothing songs that healed wounds, or praise songs that pushed me to know God more... there was always a song. The one that came back to me this time was a hymn. I was thinking about how blessed I was to have Jackson that morning and that through Aaron's absensece Jack would "keep me singing." Because of Jackson's love for music the concept of sining popped into my head that day. (not that he would keep me laughing, or keep me smiling, or keep me busy... which he does!) And there was that song...

1. There’s within my heart a melody
   Jesus whispers sweet and low,
   Fear not, I am with thee, peace, be still,
   In all of life’s ebb and flow.
   • Refrain:
     Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
     Sweetest Name I know,
     Fills my every longing,
     Keeps me singing as I go.
2. All my life was wrecked by sin and strife,
   Discord filled my heart with pain,
   Jesus swept across the broken strings,
   Stirred the slumb’ring chords again.
3. Feasting on the riches of His grace,
   Resting ’neath His shelt’ring wing,
   Always looking on His smiling face,
   That is why I shout and sing.
4. Though sometimes He leads through waters deep,
   Trials fall across the way,
   Though sometimes the path seems rough and steep,
   See His footprints all the way.
5. Soon He’s coming back to welcome me,
   Far beyond the starry sky;
   I shall wing my flight to worlds unknown,
   I shall reign with Him on high.
6. It wasn't Jackson that would keep me sining... It was Jesus. And though some of these days have been tough to say the least, he has. Wonder, Songs, Family, Promise, Hope... these things have sustained me. All precious gifts from God.
7. This morning my wonder has been sparked by:

The assurance for me that far far away Aaron has found men that love their families and their God and much as he does and has friends to pray with.

The sweet new life growing in me that has been "fearfully and wonderfully made" and will fit perfectly into our lives even though I can't fully imagine him here.

Jackson knowing the tunes and almost all words to the songs I sing him nightly and has started singing with me in the rocking chair before bed time. (he'll know those songs forever too)

Knowing that in the two weeks that we remain apart God will keep me close to Aaron and sustain me and keep me singing...

Weirder and Weirder

Different kind of quote from an interesting movie that has always stuck with me... "I am continually amazed at how each place that you take us continues to get weirder and weirder." - Garden State.

Maybe it stuck in that nonsense compartment in my head for a more sensible reason than I'd imagined. I like it's repetitiveness and reminds me of our life.

I'm thankful that God uses us today like he used Elijah... not necessarily bringing down fire from heaven or anything although singeing a few false prophets that have crossed my path might be a little fun... He doesn't leave us in one place for too long while reminding us often where we've been. Always spuring us on to adventure... not always super exciting adventure, sometimes waiting adventure, but adventure none the less. And his reason becomes clear sometimes only after we move on and always only after we surrender and take faith steps.

I want to be a good faith stepper. I want to always be ok with weirder and weirder.

Oh D'are's the moon Mommy!

This morning I watched my husband throw a green duffel bag over his shoulder and walk though an airport terminal. I listened as my two year old called out "Bye Bye Daddy!" and then turned to ask me, "Daddy's working?"

Wow... I'm proud and in love tonight with an amazing man and a little boy that will grow up next to that amazing man. A man set to serve his country, but oh so more importantly his Lord. I have striven to teach my son how to be a man of integrity and to have the strength of kings and be honorable and respectful.

Jackson is very enamored by the moon and stars lately. He intently hunts them down any time we are outside and the sun begins to fade. He even catches the moon in the day time sky from time to time and gets so excited. I love hearing him say, "Oh D'are's the moon Mommy! It's over d'are, it's over d'are! One, two stars, Mommy!"

I am so blessed that all he has to do is look at his father to find the example that he'll need to reach for the stars and moon that I pray over him every night!

This Morning...

I woke up early. I really didn't mind much because I have been wanting to get some reading done.

About an hour later, I hear Jack stirring, but he is a bit more upset than usual. I think it is because his night light bulb went out last night and his bulb was totally out. When I went to get him he was pretty insistent on getting mom, but instead we sat in the rocking chair and he calmed down after I sung to him a bit and he layed there half asleep.

It is not often that Jack will let you hold him. It was nice to sit there in the dark with the most original think I have ever been involved in creating. It was a good morning.

Today is also Kerre's birthday, I hope she enjoys marking off a new year of life! I pray Jack and I bring her joy today.